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Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me an' Grandpa, we believe.
She'd been drinking too much eggnog,
And we begged her not to go.
But she forgot her medication,
And she staggered out the door
Into the snow.
When we found her Christmas morning,
At the scene of the attack
She had hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminating Claus marks
On her back.
Now we're all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been taking this so well.
See him in there watching football,
Drinking beer and playing cards
With cousin Mel.
It's not Christmas without Grandma,
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up her gifts
Or send them back?
SEND THEM BACK!!!
Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig (ahhhhh!)
And the blue and silver candles,
That would just have matched the hair
In Grandma's wig.
I've warned all my friends and
Neighbours,
Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh
And plays with elves.
Sing it, Grandpa!